


Twitter Gays

by pumpkin_collector



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Coming Out, Curses, Cussing, F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Rants, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Social Media, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Twitter, X-Men: Dark Phoenix (Movie) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-02-10 07:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 5,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkin_collector/pseuds/pumpkin_collector
Summary: The Avengers (+ some) all have a twitter. Are they really as serious and professional as they act like in person? Mainly Peter Parker centred who am I kidding ksksks





	1. I've broken Tony Stark

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Mr. Stark finally let me make a Twitter

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman   
Which is weird that he waited so long because I already have two other ones

yee yee @ellllllli  
WHAT ARE THE OTHER TWO

Tony Stark @ironman  
He may be stupid, but he's not that stupid

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
That's a pretty bold claim, sir

Tony Stark @ironman  
Maybe so.

rolls rolls rolls @skrrtskrrt  
Spidey, who's your favourite avenger

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I feel like that's obvious. TONY IS MY FAVOURITE AVENGER

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
whyareyoubooingme.jpg

zesty bees @tatatatayloooorrrr  
Thor is best avenger, dont fight me

i am up @sky  
Tony and Thor have been handed everything they have. They don't deserve what they have and have never worked for anything in their lives.

Tony Stark @ironman  
You've really done it now. I'm pretty sure Spidey is gonna break his phone if he keeps typing that fast

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Okay, listen the frick up, you heck. Mr. Stark is the sweetest and most caring person (well, avenger) I've ever met. He's like a dad to me and I wanna be exactly like him when I grow up. He would sacrifice everything he has for the people he cares about. He'd sacrifice himself. Mr. Stark has done things in the past he's not proud of, but he's trying to fix them. He's always there when I feel sad or if I get hurt on a mission.

alexa @noiwontplaydespacito  
it's spidey's first day on twitter and he's already gone on a rant

Tony Stark @ironman  
f u c k, k i d

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
I've broken Tony Stark.


	2. I ain't happy about it

Sam Wilson @birddude  
Bucky's cupcakes could kill a man

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
In a great way. His cupcakes are better than his face, no offense

Sam Wilson @birddude  
Agreed.

jbb @bcky  
Offense taken.

why does no one know antman @scottlang  
no more cupcakes for you. we have all collectively decided.

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
Jokes on you, I'll just hug him and all will be forgiven

jbb @bcky  
he's right.

yee yee @ellllllli  
are you two together @bcky @shmaptainshmerica

jbb @bcky  
well, steve's mad now

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
I HATE THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT AND HISTORIANS. STOP ERASING ALL THE REPRESENTATION THESE PEOPLE FUCKING HAVE. I'M BISEXUAL AND FUCKING PROUD BITCH. I SEE YOU'VE ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION I'M TRANSGENDER. THATS RIGHT BITCH. AND BUCKY IS MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND. 

yee yee @ellllllli  
@trucksonnotcarson YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS

carson @trucksonnotcarson  
fuck, i coulda sworn tony and steve were a thing

Sam Wilson @birddude  
I'm also dating Bucky so that's nice

caleb @icarusoricarly  
so steve, sam, and bucky are all dating?

jbb @bcky  
No, I'm dating Sam and Steve, but they aren't dating each other

poly puff girls @peggywilliams  
NOW THAT ME AND MY GFS HAVE REPRESENTATION, IT'S OVER FOR YOU BITCHES

Kelsey Corbin @kckc  
That's extremely unnatural and gross

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Your weave is extremely unnatural and gross

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE WRONG ACCOUNT IM SO SORRY

Pietro Maximoff @quicksilver  
You might wanna remove that "Friendly" out of your name

sure e @shuri  
BITCH WENT OFF TF

\--

ned leeds @thebeesleeds  
Oh, so when Spiderman jumps off a building, it's "cool" and "breath-taking" but when I do it, it's "suicidal" and I "need to be taken to a hospital"

peter parker @pbp  
Ned, you fell off a balcony. You needed to be taken to a hospital

ned leeds @thebeesleeds  
I ain't happy about it

peter parker @pbp  
valid

fix capitalism @mj  
You two share one brain cell


	3. pew pew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo if you actually enjoy this story, can you check out my other ones. Oh and please please please leave kudos and maybe a comment. You can follow me on instagram @_friendlyneighbourhoodeboy_ and you can follow my main tumblr @pumpkin-collector or my fic tumblr @fic-collector for more content ❤

timmy turner @wandamaximoff  
Y'all better get Peter before I kill him

sis snapped @pbp  
WHAT DID I DO

timmy turner @wandamaximoff  
Shit not you

timmy turner @wandamaximoff  
Y'all better get @quicksilver before I kill him

g-g-g-gay @quicksilver  
WHAT DID I DO!?!?!?!

ymcgay @gaylee  
WHAT DID HE DO

timmy turner @wandamaximoff  
He stole my coffee.

blue bitch @nightcrawler  
WTF 

g-g-g-gay @quicksilver  
R-REBECCA, ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

blue bitch @nightcrawler  
I WONT HESITATE, BITCH

whir whir @jbb  
pew pew

\--

cardi b? i think you mean icarly @ellllllli  
did two of the xmen just make a vine reference? I AM THRIVING ON THIS GOOD TUESDAY AFTERNOON Y'ALL

caleb @icarusoricarly  
MY CHILDREN

cardi b? i think you mean icarly @ellllllli  
AGREED

tik tok on the clok @philipae  
I NEVER EXPECTED MY FAV SUPER HEROS TO MAKE A VINE REFERENCE IM DEAD

i have good jeans @jeangrey  
@philipae we are literal teenagers

tik tok on the clok @philipae  
that's valid

\--  
tik tok on the clok @philipae  
I JUST REALIZED JEAN GREY RESPONDED TO MY TWEET HOLY SUVKSJFIWBFKEGJEIFI

\--

sis snapped @pbp  
Random question but the Office or Parks and Rec?

tiny stork @ironman  
KID PARKS AND REC IS THE BEST AND YOU KNOW IT

sis snapped @pbp  
IM SORRY MR STARK BUT YOURE WRONG THE OFFICE IS THE BEST

nicholas cage @shmaptainshmerica  
PARKS AND REC IS BETTER

whir whir @jbb  
THE OFFICE

shaGGY @thebeesleeds  
THE OFFICE IS SO MUCH BETTER YOU GUYS ARE JUST DUMB

oo ee oo ah ah ting tang @thomassanderseyelash  
WRONG SIR WRONG PARKS AND REC

flash @topspeedeft  
how the fuck does peter know tony stark, and captain america

whir whir @jbb  
@topspeedeft he knows me too :(

sis snapped @pbp  
@topspeedeft probably coz I intern for them but go off ig

flash @topspeedeft  
how much did you have to pay them for this to happen

sis snapped @pbp  
dude i literally work for them

flash @topspeedeft  
whatever you say penis parker

tiny stork @ironman  
I really hope that's not directed at my intern

flash @topspeedeft  
its fucking peter parker. he aint your intern

tiny stork @ironman  
Oh, but he is. Let's make a deal. You stop hassling my kid, and I wont inform almost every big college that a kid like you would wanna go to about your behavior

flash @topspeedeft  
...

whir whir @jbb  
so anyone want cupcakes


	4. Who's trunk?

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
What would you guys say if I were to hypothetically be stuck in someone's trunk

carlos @gayforspiderman  
Why the hell are you posting this on Twitter instead of calling @ironman

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Wow. I keep you safe, don't let bad guys kidnap you or anyone in your town and this is how you return the favour. You tattle on your favourite superhero. I'm ashamed

carlos @gayforspiderman  
Oops?  
\--  
Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
What would you guys say if I were to hypothetically be stuck in someone's trunk

is there anything better than dick @kai  
Who's trunk?

parry moppins @ellllllli  
Who's Trunk?

my homework and backback @caleb  
WHO'S TRUNK?  
\--  
Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Not to worry, I am out of the trunk

zoo wee mama @thebeesleeds  
Would you like to tell them who's trunk it was? Hm, Spidey? Hmm?

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mr. Rogers and Mr. Stark went to get ice cream without me. I wanted ice cream. But instead I got stuck in Mr. Stark's trunk. 

carlos @gayforspiderman  
I- lskfsjfjwo

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
@gayforspiderman @thebeesleeds you're both dead to me.


	5. My parents at me

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Sksks guys did you know that I died once

carlos @gayforspiderman  
WHAT

alien @ellllllli  
WHAT

strongest avenger @carold  
WHAT

strongest avenger @carold  
just kidding i knew this already

stay at home disappointment @bcky  
I died too

freedumb @shmapatainshmerica  
Worst moment of my life

Sam Wilson @birddude  
Okay ROOD

gremlin child @shuri  
God what a great time when I was dead

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
@shuri yo big mood

You know me @ironman  
Thanks kid, now i gotta call your therapist again

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mr. Stark :(((

You know me @ironman  
Don't Mr Stark me

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Fine. Ms. Widow is my favourite now

Other Spider @natrom  
This is the best day of my life. I am not crying

aim, fire @hawkeye  
No I see you crying through the vents, stop lying

You know me @ironman  
GET OUT OF THE FUCKING VENTS

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mr. Stark! My virgin ears!

needle @thebeesleeds  
lmao virgin

needle @thebeesleeds  
WAIT OOPS

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
NED

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Top 10 Anime Fails

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
HARLEY SHUT YOUR FUCK

...atom! @joshuaadams  
HOLY SHIT

Stephen Strange @drabnormal  
This post is one train wreck after another

not a furry @tchalla  
I hate this more than words

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
My parents at me

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
lmao just kidding they're dead

You know me @ironman  
OH MY GOD KID

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
IM GONNA SHUT UP NOW  
\--  
alien @ellllllli  
recap of today: spiderman has died before, so has bucky shuri and sam, spidey has a therapist, isn't a virgin/fucking a dude named ned, and his parents are dead. Life is wild man


	6. Coz ill be sad

wowie @ironman  
I am tired

step the fuck up @kylemorris  
Woah, crazy idea, sleep

wowie @ironman  
why would i do that

Stephen Strange @drabnormal  
coz morgan wants you to

Pepper Potts @peppot  
coz you need to go to bed

rhodey @jrr  
coz ill be sad

wowie @ironman  
well guess im going to bed  
\--  
iceman @shmaptainshmerica  
On a scale from 1-10, how much cowboy are you

dysmorphia @ellllllli  
I thought you'd never ask. I am 100% cowboy. I herd cattle, I ride horses, I live in Texas. I am cowboy

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
i am one on the cowboy scale :(((( I wanna be a cowboy b a b e y

cosmo @wandamaximoff  
put on some good yee yee attire and you'll be sure to fool anyone into thinking you're a cowboy

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Great idea, Miss Scarlet Witch, ma'am!  
\--  
Ren @dummythiccskulled  
I just got saved by spiderman in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, what the fuck


	7. nit

Green Dude @brucebanner  
The rumours are true

Green Dude @brucebanner  
Im a dumbass

Tin Man @ironman  
I can confirm. We have ran the tests. Bruce has stage 5 dumbass

loki @godofknives  
We all knew this. Don't act surprised.

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mr. Loki!! Mr. Bruce is nit a dumbass

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Not

shronk @shuri  
nit

loki @godofknives  
nit

weewooweewoo @elllllli  
nit

iced out @shmaptainshmerica  
nit

raccoon eyes @bcky  
nit

Sam Wilson @birddude  
nit

Spider Mom @natrom  
nit

hewwo @hawkeye  
nit

not a furry @tchalla  
nit

carlos @gayforspiderman  
nit

S A N S @thebeesleeds  
nit

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
You're all dead to me  
\--  
casey neistat doesnt have nice tats @philipae  
spiderman is trans no one can convince me otherwise

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I won't. 

casey neistat doesnt have nice tats @philipae   
KWJFSJHFJSHFIWJ


	8. Cry. The end.

Transformer @bcky  
How do you think Tony will react when I tell him that I flushed a tube of toothpaste down the toilet

Lipstick in my valentino white bag @ironman  
Not mad but disappointed

Lipstick in my valentino white bag @ironman  
Actually how'd you do that-

Transformer @bcky  
I went to flush the toilet but I hit the toothpaste into it

Lipstick in my valentino white bag @ironman  
You were a mistake

Transformer @bcky  
ThAnks  
\--  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
anyone who hates on nigel thornberry can suck my big toe

A KNIFE @shuri  
Hey what the fuck

Harley @nigelthornberry  
HES BEAUTIFUL

A KNIFE @shuri  
Nah

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Fine. But watch your back and lock your doors

move im gay @thebeesleeds  
WHAT THE FUCK SDJAHFJWI  
\--  
Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
What to do when you have dysphoria: a thread

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Punch a wall and pray your guardian doesn't notice the weirdly placed Britney Spears poster

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Break the mirrors, no one needs them

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Say goodbye to normal clothes, time for hoodies

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Cry. The end.

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
I agree with all of these statements


	9. Suck my big toe

Renaissance Man @shuri  
I went to @pbp 's school and I didn't get on the same bus as him because I lost him HELP

ur not my dad @pbp  
You had one job. One job. 

Renaissance Man @shuri  
You should've gave me no job

ur not my dad @pbp  
You wanted to come to the school fjwjd

highkey lowkey @lizallen  
I am v concerned

wolf in sheep's clothing @mj  
What're you gonna do when you're the last one on there?

Renaissance Man @shuri  
Cry

highkey lowkey @lizallen  
valid

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
God fuck, I'm coming

yee yee @thebeesleeds  
Rude

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Suck my big toe, Ned

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Actually don't, that's weird

yee yee @thebeesleeds  
I was afraid you were going to make me and that's the most traumatic thing I've thought about ever

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Oh so even worse than the time you thought you were going to have to live without me? Hmm? Hmm?

yee yee @thebeesleeds  
NO OF COURSE NOT

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mhm.   
\--  
cancerous @hawkeye  
Im adopting all disabled people

im not the devil @daredevil  
I- what

cancerous @hawkeye  
you're my child now. i shall protect you

im not the devil @daredevil  
no offense, but i think i can protect myself

cancerous @hawkeye  
JUST LET ME PROTECT YOU

assassins creed @natrom  
Just let him. He won't stop.

laura @laurabarton  
He really wont

im not the devil @daredevil  
Damn. I guess that won't be so bad

laura @laurabarton  
cute

bars @ellllllli  
ot3

teet yeet @ironman  
Agreed


	10. Sorry!

So Im currently in the hospital so I won't be able to put out content :(( I also have huge writers block added on to that so I'm sorry!! We're not sure when I'm getting out, but I'll try to update as much as I can


	11. Yee yee, brethren

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
That mood when your stuck in the hospital because your heart's a whole bitch

barney @ellllllli  
Wha-I-What

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Im not all that good with this health crap but my heart rate is low and my heart beat has a murmur...? i think

shaggy @gayforspiderman  
welp, guess its time to kill myself

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Yee yee, brethren, the time has come for us to fall. Farewell

Friendly Neighborhood @spiderman  
Mr. Stark said to clear up that I wasn't dying when I wrote that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive been surrounded about what's going on with my heart that its the only thing i can think about so this is all i can write. Also im like super tired from the mri i just had to take? Be in? Idk


	12. Peter Pan

rawr XD @bcky  
I've known Peter Pan for one minute but if anything ever happened to him, I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself

rawr XD @bcky  
He's pure in the movie, but he's far more better insane in once upon a time and that's the tea

rawr XD @bcky  
Also its crazy how there's a guy who looks like me in it

hourly break down @ironman  
I love once upon a time

sam's mugshot @ellllllli  
Bucky is actually the Mad Hatter??? Conspiracy theory??? Shane dawson get on this

fick nury @oneeyedwonder  
He acts like him

rawr XD @bcky  
I hate you.  
\--  
Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
Me, Bucky, and Sam have all decided. We wanna adopt Peter Pan

Disney @disney  
Go on, he's a handful

Sam Wilson @birddude  
We have six hands

Peter Pan @disneypeterpan  
Hey! You guys are so rude to me, I knew I should've stayed on Neverland!

rawr XD @bcky  
I would die for you.

Peter Pan @disneypeterpan  
You will.

rawr XD @bcky  
Kejduqhuqdhauhxuw, this is good.

Peter Pan @disneypeterpan  
Agreed

dis depressed deart @philipae  
Whoever runs the peter pan twitter is doing a terrible job at being a wholesome sweet kid who hates adults and growing up

rawr XD @bcky  
MY CHILD IS DOING HIS BEST

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
@disneypeterpan I apologize

rawr XD @bcky  
@disneypeterpan I love you

hourly break down @ironman  
Have you even seen the cartoon movie?

rawr XD @bcky  
ONLY 60 TIMES TODAY

hourly break down @ironman  
I never thought I'd have to get my strange addictions on one of my friends but there's a first time for everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I love peter pan. Ive also given him a twitter account in the marvel world. Suck my boot if you have an issue with it sksksk also sorry for not posting, I was in the hospital. I have a complete heart block but its not so terrible that I have to get surgery for a pacemaker, at least not right now


	13. I once threw down with a 13 year old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for uh not posting in five years ive had no ideas but uh here

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Sure, I swing from buildings all day way up in the air but if I go zip lining ever again, I will, in fact, shit myself

get yourself an outfit @shuri  
What happened?

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
You wanna know how many trees I ran into? Just guess

put them on your head @ellllllli  
2?

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
10\. I ran into 10 fUCKING TREES WHILE ZIP LINING

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
IT DIDN'T HELP THAT THE GUIDES WERE HOT AND @THEBEESLEEDS KEPT EMBARRASSING ME

fuck off campbell @philipae  
@THEBEESLEEDS WHAT DID YOU SAY

whats your favourite dinner food @ thebeesleeds  
I PLEAD THE FIFTH

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
@PHILIPAE NOTHING OF YOUR CONCERN

welcome back to me screaming @ironman  
I would like to know.

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I'll tell you when I get home

welcome back to me screaming @ironman  
Good

\---

red dust @wandamaximoff  
I would like to order the big gay special

HAPPY PRIDE FUCKER @bcky  
Someone called?

Sonic got nothin on me @quicksilver  
Nah, she called for me

HAPPY PRIDE FUCKER @bcky  
I will literally fight you

Sonic got nothin on me @quicksilver  
You wont

HAPPY PRIDE FUCKER @bcky  
I once threw down with like a 13 year old so :/

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I WAS AROUND 14-15 AND COULD STILL BEAT YOUR ASS, CHECKMATE BITCH

HAPPY PRIDE FUCKER @bcky  
You're pretty vulgar today. Somethin up?

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I POURED HOT SAUCE IN MY EYES, ALRIGHT? NERD

the big sad @gayforspiderman  
Holy shit.


	14. shut up you like it

billie jean @jeangrey  
i am going to have a mental breakdown

limestone @crocrockcroc  
me because of finals

send eggplants @ellllllli  
me because of stress

ted you bonehead @quicksilver  
me  
\---  
summer lovin happened so fast @tinytinytinydino  
what if i died in the arms of an ant

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Dude the fucking dream

tiny ant boi @scottlang  
I can hold you, you precious child

Tony Stark @ironman  
Im not an ant but same

technically cyborg @bcky  
we can all hold him

Jesus @daredevil  
Amazing. Precious. You could so no harm.

Sam Wilson @birddude  
I dont like you

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Say that when you have people lining up to hug you  
\---  
slslslsls @cantsleepwontsleep  
I have somethin due in one hour but i shall wait to start it

beter barker @pbp  
Yo big mood

cause i wanna die @thebeesleeds  
do your fucking project peter

beter barker @pbp  
you were supposed to come over to help :((

cause i wanna die @thebeesleeds  
when you say help you mean make out and that leads us no where 

beter barker @pbp  
shut up you like it

cause i wanna die @thebeesleeds  
and? do your homework then

beter barker @pbp  
:(((

just joshing ya @joshcarter  
i thought spiderman was fuckin ned

beter barker @pbp  
ummm


	15. Eat your shoes

where do we go @ellllllli  
@spiderman hasnt posted in a week

straighnt @ironman  
hes taking a mental health break

tina @tinasaur  
like fucking everyone

7 PhDs @brucebanner  
Mental health isn't a joke! It can affect people in many ways! Spidey needs some time to himself, he gets to be a normal human!

shiny @williampeters  
is this cause he found out ned was cheating

uh yeah i sure hope it does @thebeesleeds  
oh my god  
\---  
dj @freefallin  
yo spiderman should just tell everyone his identity because i think anyone who lives in Queens already knows

gae @suckmytoes  
Dude yes oh my god he is so bad at hiding it

i hate my life @mj  
dude he is so bad

gae @suckmytoes  
KSKSKS  
\---  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
Reasons Why Superheros Should Get Privacy: A Thread

Harley @nigelthornberry  
1\. Because they're fucking human. Thats it, that's the thread

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Some people are mad, shut the fuck up. you wouldn't like it if people where prying in your business  
\---  
fag juul rip @lizallen  
Stop making theories about who spiderman is. Stop. Its not good for his mental health. His nerves are super shot. His spidey sense is going crazy. Leave him alone

licensed homo @shuri  
Leave him alone or i come to your house and eat your shoes  
\---  
thor @lordofthunder  
Leave the man of spiders alone. He's frustrated and sad. You really want to make someone sad?

valkyrie @baddestbitch  
Well put. Either drink and make yourself sad or make no one sad


	16. I am groot

:( @quicksilver  
I feel under appreciated

:( @quicksilver  
I should be appreciated

:( @quicksilver  
Have you met me? Probably not because I'm just so awesome that you're too scared to talk to me

:( @quicksilver  
I get that I am amazing but talk to me :( anyone :(:(:(:(

tell me why @oliolioxenfree  
i like ur hair

:/ @quicksilver  
Awe, I like my hair too!!

kaylee with two es @myownworstnightmare  
ur cool

:| @quicksilver  
Omg! Ikr!

blueberry @nightcrawler  
You're very cute

:) @quicksilver  
NO U

clearly gay @ellllllli  
the only time he didnt just accept the compliment

:) @quicksilver  
kurt is the only other one equal to my greatness

blueberry @nightcrawler  
/////

apple bottom jeans @jeangrey  
just kiss already  
\---  
peter quill @starlord  
yes i think dad jokes are funny. no im not a dad. we exist

cut the bullshit @gamora  
i hate you

peter quill @starlord  
woah thats mean

groot @iamgroot  
i am groot

peter quill @starlord  
you guys are so mean

kill me please @escalatorohhh  
sis snapped

oh FUCK YEAH @shuri  
me in the soul stone after thanos

groot @iamgroot  
i am groot

oh FUCK YEAH @shuri  
mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched dark phoenix and im so fucking disappointed


	17. well you a bitch

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
If you ever take time for your mental health, I'd recommend watching Markiplier or MatPat play five nights at freddy's coz while i dont give any shit about fnaf, i love those videos

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I was watching their vr episodes today, and thats fucking god tier i swear

markiplier @markiplier  
Not even gonna lie, this is the best day of my life

matpat @matpatgt  
The fact that I'm wearing spiderman socks right now just adds to the greatness of this 

uh skinny penis @ellllllli  
the fact that this is your first post after your break is fantastic

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
What am I supposed to do? Lie? I quite enjoy watching fnaf videos that give me nightmares until 3 AM

william @willdelancey  
New theory: Spiderman is a 9 year old x-box gamer

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
@IRONMAN THEY FOUND OUT

0 days without break down @ironman  
OH SHIT

Sam Wilson @birddude  
I fucking hate this team so much  
\---  
DISGUSTANG @mantis  
Hi

sans uwu @ramonawhite  
First post on twitter and my gf already has millions of followers we stan

DISGUSTANG @mantis  
I stan you too

sans uwu @ramonawhite  
Excuse me while i have a heart attack  
\---  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
People who like mint flavoured anything are stupid

4 female ghost busters @mj  
Well you a bitch

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Well a bitch is a female dog 🐶👛💅 dogs bark 📣🐩 bark grows on trees 🌲🌾 trees are nature 🦋🌈 and nature is beautiful 🌸🔥✨ so thank you for the compliment 💁♀️💝💫💐😘😹⚡️💘🌟🤷♀️🖕🏻💖🌚🌹

4 female ghost busters @mj  
I hate you so much  
\---  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
Bitches be on me but they aint even realize Im on their man

dis dick @philipae  
No offense but I need a girl to date me, flirt with Harley, just so he can flirt with me instead

Harley @nigelthornberry  
No need for a girlfriend

dis dick @philipae  
KSJFAJVJQJCBAJF


	18. Dont eat my food

erik @magneto  
i feel like my own privacy has been violated.

charles xavier @charlesxavier  
Its not my fault

erik @magneto  
its entirely your fault

charles xavier @charlesxavier  
dont eat my food

erik @magneto  
dont leave it out in the open

yeet @wandamaximoff  
I have to agree with erik

charles xavier @charlesxavier  
It had my name on it!

uwu @quicksilver  
You still left it out dude

erik @magneto  
As stated before, dont leave it out in the open

pomegranate @philipae  
Known knowledge. Dont leave food out unless you want it eaten

shiny @pedrothompson  
It had his name on it tho

uwu @quicksilver  
No one cares about that

jo jo @jojogarcia  
it was known that it was his food

yeet @wandamaximoff  
food is food dude

charles xavier @charlesxavier  
So its fine for me to steal food from a store??

erik @magneto  
it was already paid for..

charles xavier @charlesxavier  
With my money

erik @magneto  
Our*

the beast @hankmccoy  
I think thats enough for today  
\---  
porter porker @pbp  
Its out with the old and in with the new

is wendy working today @thebeesleeds  
goodbye clouds of grey, hello skies of blue

porter porker @pbp  
A dip in the pool

is wendy working today @thebeesleeds  
A trip to the spa

porter porker @pbp  
Endless days in chaise

is wendy working today @thebeesleeds  
The whole world according to moi

porter porker @pbp  
Excuse me

pongo pongo @mj  
Fuck you

porter porker @pbp  
woah rude

pongo pongo @mj  
youre quoting high school musical online, you deserved it


	19. I will literally die

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
To all those who say being homophobic is their opinion and should be respected, I have one thing to say

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
How bout you dont

Gaga oo la la @ironman  
I agree with this message

that boy from ohio @hudsonk  
I will literally kill any homophobe

vanessa @vvkansas  
Kill me then

that boy from ohio @hudsonk  
Give me your address then, lets go

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I would as well but I am afraid of confrontation so..  
\---  
lackey @godofknives  
I will literally die

denis! what?! @shuri  
what happened this time

lackey @godofknives  
My popcorn got burnt

goddangit @thebeesleeds  
You are so dramatic im-  
\---  
Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
I want coffee.

gross @bcky  
No. You had enough.

Steve Rogers @shmaptainshmerica  
In dire need of a new boyfriend

gross @bcky  
In dire need of someone who can drink one drop of coffee and not bounce on the walls for a week  
\---  
daniel howell @danielhowell  
Basically I'm Gay

tis pride month @pbp  
Basically I'm in Love with You


	20. Holy fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter sorry :/

Go stupid @ironman  
All my love goes out to friends and family of Cameron Boyce. He'll be missed ❤  
\--  
Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I watched this guy on Jessie. I grew up with this guy. I watched him in all kinds of things. He was only 20. This is just crazy. R. I. P. dude 💜  
\--  
Steve Rogers @schmaptainschmerica  
We lost a hero today. All we can do is remember him and spread the memories.  
\---  
The Daily Bugle @thedailybugle  
17 year old kid from Queens, Peter Parker, is Spider-Man?!

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Is this a dream? This is a fucking dream, right? This isn't real. This can't be.

carlos @gayforspiderman  
Holy fuck

r i p cameron @thebeesleeds  
Holy shit

Natasha @natrom  
I will murder whoever posted this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R. I. P. Cameron boyce 💜💜


	21. god tier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Havent posted in a hot minute. Next post will most likely be better

are you naked?? @pbp  
Turns out being known as spiderman isnt the worst

are you naked?? @pbp  
It kinda sucks coz people decide that kidnapping my friends is okay but bitch im an avenger

are you naked?? @pbp  
You think Mr. Stark is just gonna let that slide? Wrong.

ewwwww @thebeesleeds  
Idk i thought it was hilarious when doc oc was all like "and now youll die and spiderman will never find you" and then you and tony burst through the fucking wall. God tier

anna oop @philipae  
The mystery of who ned is fucking has been solved

dropped my hydroplast @ellllllli  
Love how thats what youre focused on

anno oop @philipae  
Harley is distracting me 👀👀

carlos @gayforspiderman  
And i oop-


	22. and we're both boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To make up for the tiny chapter, here is a second tiny chapter

Harley @nigelthornberry  
That mood when youre finally able to get an actually boyfriend and stop being a whore ✌😳✌

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Jk still a whore but now im only whorin around with one person 👀👀

Call me carson @trucksonnotcarson  
Sis really put himself on full blast

alive @ironman  
There is nothing more terrifying than scrolling through your feed and seeing your kid say this

Harley @nigelthornberry  
And i oop sksksks dropped my hydroplast  
~~~  
can you feel the love @bcky  
what if we both overthrew the government

Steve Rogers @schmaptainschmerica  
And then we kissed

Sam Wilson @birddude  
(and we're both boys 😵😳)

Clint @hawkeye  
I hate this team


	23. that meme is older than cavemen

Steve Rogers @schmaptainschmerica  
Nuking the hurricane is a pro gamer move 😎😎

jacqueline @phillestersfingernail  
Steve insulting Tr*mp is my new favourite thing  
~~~  
Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
That mood when you're fucking spiderman but the kids on the bus still wont let you sit with them :/

worm @shuri  
Kids on the bus are harsh

worm @shuri  
One look and your entire self esteem is in shambles

owo? @quicksilver  
I'm proud to admit that I'm One Of Those Kids On The Bus™

then perish @nightcrawler  
I'm The Kid They're Looking At™

owo? @quicksilver  
Coz you're beautiful

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Go flirt on someone else's thread  
~~~  
Thor Odinson @lordofthunder  
Might fuck around and find out that my dear brother is still alive and was lying to me yet again

Loki Odinson @godofknives  
See this is awkward now  
~~~  
Pepper Stark @peppot  
New last name, who dis?

burger bing boot bettuce @pbp  
Mrs. Stark, I love you to death, but that meme is older than cavemen

Pepper Stark @peppot  
Last time I try to relate to the kids


	24. sksksk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VSCO girls have made me revert back to lmao and im not happy about it

Pinky dinky doo @jrr  
Love how everyone is ignoring the amazon that's STILL burning. Its been burning for, what, two weeks??

Pinky dinky doo @jrr  
Also why we're discussing problems in the world my trans friend, WHO IS SEVENTEEN, was assaulted in the bathroom today. Whoever did that, Im gonna fucking kill you

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Mr. Rhodey, you can say it was me, I'm not ashamed. I hope they're ashamed. Well, when I see you again random dude, I won't hesitate to call Mr. Stark

Frog @luigiscum420  
Maybe if you went to your own fucking bathroom, we wouldn't have this problem

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Yeah, I did. And if you're referring to the women's room, I've tried. You wanna know what happens? I get pepper sprayed and called a creep coz im literally invading women's privacy but go off ig

Frog @luigiscum420  
Don't dress like a dyke then 🤡🤡🤡

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Okay, @luigiscum420, I'll be proper and respectful next time, seeing as you, luigiscum420, would know how a person should act.

DANNY FANDOM @awsten  
THE SHADE HERE 👀👀

mechanical @bcky  
Can't believe this started from Rhodey talking about the amazon

asthma attack @schmaptainschmerica  
Everyones ignoring it, just like he said  
~~~  
scrawny mf @philipae  
What if I were to tell you that straws aren't the main thing killing the turtles?

Harley @nigelthornberry  
SKSKSKS AND I OOP, WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU MEAN BB SKSKSKSKSK MY SCRUNCHIE AND HYDROFLASH TOLD ME SO SKSKSKSK AND I OOP AND I OOP ALSO GIVE ME BACK MY OVERSIZED TEE SKSKSK

scrawny mf @philipae  
This might be the reason why i break up with you

Harley @nigelthornberry  
SKSKSKSKSK ANNA OOP  
~~~  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
So VSCO girls say sksksk

Harley @nigelthornberry  
If you get rid of the s's what do you get?

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Kkk, VSCO girls are racism

Harley @nigelthornberry  
But wait, there's more

Harley @nigelthornberry  
Say sksksk really fast, what do you get?

Harley @nigelthornberry  
That's right, 666, VSCO girls are also satan 

please god no @ironman  
Hey, what the fuck


	25. ...

socks @philipae  
Fuck you, mom, I'm moving to New York 🤷🤷

Jasper @jasperhallender  
With whose money?? Everyone knows you're poor as shit but nice try 😂😂

Harley @nigelthornberry  
🤗🤗🤗

pepe @shuri  
Anna oop-

Jasper @jasperhallender  
You're just a random kid from Tennessee

Help let me go @ellllllli  
Im sorry have you never been on the internet ever

Shark @ironman  
👀👀

Jasper @jasperhallender  
Whatever  
~~~  
Bruce @brucebanner  
Imagine dating someone from Earth. Insane

Loki @godofknives  
Ikr, everyone here sucks  
~~~  
Okoye @okyall  
Someone needs to tell T'Challa that he can't wear crocs

Not a furry @tchalla  
I don't see the problem

M'Baku @mbacku  
Oh god, why am I in love with your dumbass

pepe @shuri  
At least tell me they arent the camo ones

Not a furry @tchalla  
…

pepe @shuri  
Oh my god


	26. why you so obsessed with me

nebula @bluechild  
I have a twin sister...Her name is blueberry

Gamora @gamora  
I also have a twin sister...her name is broccoli

nebula @bluechild  
Make your own post

Gamora @gamora  
Okay  
~~~  
Gamora @gamora  
I have a twin sister...Her name is broccoli

Wanda @wandamaximoff  
EYE-  
~~~  
Ant-Man @scottlang  
The ants: 😡🐜

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I'm so happy rn  
~~~  
McFallen @shuri  
Yeah, I have responsibilities, but K-12 also came and that's more important  
~~~  
anna oop @quicksilver  
Why you so obsessed with me, boy I wanna know

anna oop @quicksilver  
Lyin that your sexing me

Wanda @wandamaximoff  
I really hate you


	27. area 51 raid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Area 51 edition!!!

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
Rise and grind gamers. Its time

Friendly Neighbourhood @spiderman  
I, obviously, will be webbing my way into area 51

naruto @ironman  
You guys know that I own area 51, right?

Loki @godofknives  
WHAT

naruto @ironman  
Yeah, I bought it forever ago

Friendly Neighbourbood @spiderman  
HOLY SHIT

naturo @ironman  
So, technically, I could say that it's not trespassing for you guys to go so ig its not trespassing

Kyle @thebeesleeds  
THIS DAY IS LITERALLY PERFECT  
~~~  
Climate Change @mj  
Crazy how the area 51 raid is the same day as the climate strike

Steve Rogers @schmaptianschmerica  
Wild and very coincidental

Isaac @newtonisaac  
If I see y'all at the area 51 raid and not the climate strike, imma break your kneecaps

enderpearl my way into area 51 @pbp  
I can make both 👀👀  
~~~  
Harley @nigelthornberry  
To all the people asking me, of course I'm not going to the area 51 raid. Im in area 51 how am i supposed to raid it

The can't catch us all @philipae  
I'll get you out, babe, don't worry


End file.
